Confidence For One, Please.

I'm back.

Not too much has happened since the last time I logged on and published something onto my blog.

I haven't been out of town.
I haven't been abducted by aliens.
I haven't even been busy.

I have though, unfortunately, been discouraged.

A few days after I wrote my last blog post I looked at my blog and read over my posts a few times and I decided that what I was doing was silly. That no one cared and that I was going to be laughed at if anyone ever found this blog. I decided that while I had no followers, I'd quit. I wouldn't do it anymore.

I didn't tell anyone about my decision and I brushed off my people's questions with a simple, "I'm too busy." or "I just forgot about it."

But I just thought what I'm doing is silly. Complaining about this disease to an internet full of people who don't care, and those who do wouldn't know what they're actually caring about. They'd care, without really knowing what them caring met.

And as I spent more and more time thinking these thoughts, the discouragement grew inside of me, and I decided to quit.

Then it came to me. I was so worried about what people would think of me that I quit doing something that I had been so excited to start and then a newer revelation came to me. It wasn't just my Celiac Disease anymore that was controlling my life: It was my insecurity and low self-esteem that began to take over.

But then I realized something even greater: It was just about my Celiac Disease anymore. This wasn't even just about me anymore. This was about the pressures that society weighs on teenage girls today. This was about the insecurities that I shared with teenage girls all across the world that followed the trends forced upon us by the media. This was about the low self-esteem and distorted body image that teenage girls are plagued with.

Recent studies have shown that the more reality television a girl watches, the more she will take into consideration her appearance. In a survey, 40% of the women that were asked said they'd consider having cosmetic surgery in their future. It is said that young girls who participate in mainstream media are more likely to paint the negative pictures of women that are cast out by magazines such as Glamour and Vogue. Women who participate in the media that is shown today are more likely to look at themselves as sex objects, and will begin to work to gain that image that magazines so easily dish out.

As teenagers, we are more easily influenced than others. We look at the ads that are placed out there by Victoria Secret and stores like Hollister. These models are airbrushed and trimmed to perfection: The ads are placed out there and the message the same from each store: "If you buy our products/merchandise, you can look and feel as beautiful as these woman do." But you end up not feeling that way, and that need to fit in causes you to buy more and more of the product. No matter how hard we try, we will never look just as good as the photo shopped women, because we AREN'T photo shopped women.

We want to fit in with the latest trends. We want to buy those too short shorts, the crop tops, the revealing swim suits... Because all we want is to fit in. I'm as guilty as anyone else. I know that I see pictures of my friends or other girls that I follow on instagram in cute, but revealing clothing and I can't help but think: I wish I looked like that. So I set out and I made it happen. I own the belly shirts, I own the too revealing shorts and swimsuits and yeah, it feels good for awhile. The attention is great, but at the end of the day, I'm ashamed of myself. I'm ashamed of what our society has become. I'm ashamed of what it has come to. The price of feeling "beautiful" shouldn't be my self-respect. It shouldn't be me demeaning myself to a sexual object for the teenage boys of our society who have been taught that it's okay to see us as such.

We become so insecure with ourselves though, with not feeling pretty enough, with being judged because of how "ugly" we think we look, that we give up everything God has blessed us with. We dress in revealing clothing, we murder our hair with heat products, and we cake our faces in make-up just for a glance from a boy, or a jealous look from another teenage girl that helps us feel as if we are successful in our attempts.

                       Society sees me prettier this way: eye make-up done, hair straightened.

       I feel prettier this way: Hair natural (unbrushed on this occasion), and just a little bit of mascara

However, it didn't matter what I felt, I got more attention when I gussied up vs. when I stayed completely natural and allowed myself to be free of any unnatural beauty.

It is said that we see ourselves ten times less attractive than we actually are. I can't say if I really believe that, but it is something that would help someone convince themselves that they are truly beautiful. You can convince yourself of anything.

So many women struggle with body weight issues where they see themselves as "too big" and "not skinny enough", however only 10% of women can actually attain the body weight that the models have. Women's bodies aren't made to be that tiny. You are who you are. God created you in his image, and you are perfect in his eyes, so why try to fix something that is not broken?

Thigh gaps are a huge social controversy and Tumblr fad that has many teenage girls diving into eating disorders to attempt to attain. However, it's been shown that most women's bodies are not made to healthily obtain thigh gaps. I'm slightly underweight for my height - thanks to my Celiac -  and I do not have a thigh gap. It doesn't happen healthily, in most cases. It's not safe.

Recently, one clothing company came out with a campaign that uses only untouched models. Aerie, a branch off of American Eagle that sells intimates, night clothes, and work-out clothing has came up with the #AerieReal campaign, which focuses on using models that are not only untouched, but naturally beautiful and not completely stick thin. They're healthy, looking beautiful women and this move by Aerie has created quite the move among teenage girls everywhere. The campaign focuses on helping women to feel just as good in their clothing as the normal girls do in their pictures. One photo from the campaign shows cellulite on her butt, to tattoos and curves, to even an innocent belly ring hole. This campaign has received praise from all over the nation.

                 Here is a side-by-side comparison of an Aerie girl, and a Victoria Secret model.

She may look sexier, but goodness, the other one looks happy and HEALTHY. While the one on the right is beautiful, she's not one young girls should be aiming to be. It's unattainable. But you know what isn't? Happiness.

I don't know. I'm on a roll right now, and I'm done being worried about what people think. I allowed myself too long to be sucked into a society that only throws out judgment. I'm done being afraid of what people think, and at this point, if someone thinks I'm annoying, let them. Slowly, I'm discovering all kinds of people who love me for the real me. Not for the one I put up a front to be. I'm done with the people who tease me and crush me to control me. The judgment is done. The sad side of me needs to be gone.

And this needs to happen inside of every girl. This kind of personal empowerment needs to occur within all of us. You need to discover the power that is your beauty, that is the real and true you. Not the mean girl who puts down the girls in front of all her friends so they can fit in, not the one who pretends to be stupid and hits the books at home, and not the girls like me who hide their humor and their jokes for their parents at home.

Shine. Let your beauty shine.

Because you know what? There is someone who loves you unconditionally. His love will conquer all things. God created you to be awesome and to be you. He created you to do amazing things in His name. He created you in His image. So what better thought than that? You're beautiful and wonderfully made.

So don't let society stop you from being you.
Don't let anyone stop you.

You were born to stand out, not to fit in.

So do something great today.
Tomorrow.
Next week.
Years from now.
All your lives.

Do great things because YOU are AWESOME!

Stay golden Celiacs.
Stay golden, everyone.

Jessica.

[EDIT] Watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXoZLPSw8U8
Such a powerful message. You are beautiful!