Friday, May 30, 2014

Introductions - My Story.

I'm not sure where to start this blog. I've been pondering the idea to create a blog that revolves around my Celiac disease and after weeks of playing with this idea in my head, I finally decided to just go out and do it. However, I've been stuck staring at this screen unable to decide what to write. Then it occurred to me that I should start where every story does: The Beginning.

So, without further rambling (that will be a common thing), here's my story.

I've been a Celiac all my life, obviously. I was diagnosed at the age of nine, while I was in the fifth grade. I remember constantly having stomach aches and always going up to the nurse's office at my elementary school for "Tums". For years, I visited doctors with no answers to my problems. In fact, my elementary school nurse was the first to ever even suggest a food allergy being the culprit for my stomach aches. Originally, we thought that my symptoms were due to lactose intolerance. So I was sent to an Allergy and Asthma clinic near where I live, and I was given the standard allergy tests; pricks in my back and shots in my arms. Blood was also taken and used for tests. I was told I wasn't allergic to anything, and I was sent home to wait for the blood tests results. Around a week and a half later, when I got home from school, my mom told me the news: I was a Celiac.
      (That's me, a few months post-celiac diagnosis! I was skin and bones, and let's face it: Homly.)

The next year following my diagnosis went by ever-so-smoothly. Everything was fantastic. I'd never felt better! I thought that finally I was going to be okay.

Then, before Christmas of my seventh grade year, my world came crashing down before me. Again. I remember sitting in Science class after an exam and feeling a sharp pain in my abdomen. My thoughts raced. I remember panicking as I rushed up to the front office and calling my mom who told me I had to just stick through it. It was terrifying, to say the least. I dealt with severe abdominal pain and bathroom issues for the remainder of my middle school career. I also dealt with severe self-esteem issues, and I began to hate who I was. I looked in the mirror and saw a girl with a big round face, buck teeth, too skinny for words, and sunken in eyes... And I hated myself. I fell into a funk for the longest time. I constantly fished for compliments and people genuinely disliked who I was. I couldn't blame them. I had friends, but they were sparse. No one wanted to be around someone who didn't even want to be around themselves. I was in a dark place for the longest time, and along with my ongoing symptoms, I was miserable.

It was finally towards the middle of my freshman year in high school when I came to terms with what I was suffering from along with my Celiac disease: Severe Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Depression, as well as a panic disorder. Through the help of some amazing people, I got back on track. I began to feel comfortable again in my own skin, and once I began to love myself, others did too. It was a revelation that I cannot even begin to describe.

Today, I'm a busy junior in highschool who participates in numerous afterschool activities, and let me be the first to tell you that being in colorguard (the one with the marching band) is not the easiest when you deal with daily joint pain. It's incredibly difficult to go through my life day-by-day with my anxiety, and to deal with the littlest pains that cause numerous alarms to go off in my head. My health anxiety is always on the highest alert, and Celiac Disease definitely does not make my life easier. It's been a struggle to go on school trips, go to parties, or even hang out with my friends longer than a few hours since I'm so terrified to get "glutened". But that's every Celiac's biggest fear, isn't it?

Well, other than those minor issues, I'm a happy 15 (almost 16) year old girl who's just trying to get through life as normal as possible.

                     (This is me today, courtesy of the GF expo! I'm not skin and bones anymore!)

So there's that. My story. Not too interesting, but it's me. With this blog, I hope to inspire or at least be able to relate to other Celiac teens, or children who are going through this same exact thing as I am. Be prepared for more posts on topics such as: The GF expo, GF bullying, Getting Glutened... I have big ideas for this blog. So just stick with me here, and I'll deliver.

Stay golden Celiacs.
Jessica.